So I’m driving home tonight, and I see and realize something that depresses me. It was an elderly gentleman with a little wheeled cart sitting on a bench. In this wheeled cart, he had US flags, pins, stickers, etc.
Obviously (at least in my eyes), the man was selling these things for money; further reasons for this are unknown.
What irks me is this: should I be walking down the street, I would probably have avoided this person. Why? Did he look dangerous? No. Threatening? No. So what was it then?
Well, two things I think.
First, it just makes me uncomfortable. I think I also fear that somehow, if I pay more attention, I’m going to let this event inside, and maybe guilt/sorrow into me. I fear that.
I’m afraid of feeling too much. Sometimes, I yearn to be emotionally detached, but it never works that way.
Second is the fear of being taken advantage of. Through the stereotypes forwarded by the media over and over, part of me just seems to think that the person is just greedy instead of actually needing the money. Crazy stuff that for sure.
Silly brain.